coming to the realization that a relationship you're in is destined for failure is a hard pill to swallow. forcing something that isn't meant to be and lying to yourself is even harder. i've been there; i know.
i'm not a dating or marriage expert by no means, but i know what i know, and this is what i've learned. rocky starts are often doomed for rocky endings. if you can't imagine the thought of growing old with somebody, most likely they aren't 'the one'. happiness shouldn't be forced; lying to yourself and others that you really are happy is even worse. if you can count on your fingers the good times, but lost count of the bad times, cried more than you laughed, then it's time to move on.
it seems like i've always been lacking something. something has always been missing. sometimes a relationship may seem perfect, but the two people just drift apart or realize that friendship is better than a romantic relationship. sometimes a relationship may have one or two really good qualities, but are lacking in other aspects. and yet others are nothing more than two complete opposites trying desperately to create something out of nothing.
about 6 months ago, i met foster. he was a friend of a friend. cool guy. sweet as can be. good looking. fun. i didn't seek him out, nor did i want anything more than to hang out a few hours so as not to be alone, have a drink or two, and say my goodbyes, perhaps making an acquaintance that i could say 'hi' to if i saw out in public or if we were ever in the same company again. but apparently god had his own agenda because something strange happened. here i was, depressed and in the midst of a divorce, had been crying for weeks, stopped eating, had to take some time off from work...and during that first meeting with foster, i actually really enjoyed myself. i smiled for the first time in a while. in the weeks that followed, we shared hours upon hours of phone conversations about every subject under the sun. some of my favorite memories from the summer and fall were nights spent talking on my back patio. he gave me advice. we laughed harder than i had laughed in ages. we found out that, despite an 11 year age difference, we had so very much in common, from career and life goals to both being born in april. he actually makes me talk about issues that arise instead of sweeping problems under the rug; funny, because i have always been the one who wants to talk things out, but after years of communication issues, i've learned just to bottle things up. and he said something that really resonated with me, something that makes perfect sense, yet something that had been missing in my most recent relationships:
relationships require a foundation of friendship. you have to have something to build upon. just like a building has to have a firm foundation or else it will crumble, if a relationship isn't built on a firm foundation, it's just going to crumble.
foster isn't perfect. neither am i. far from it, actually. but we fit together perfectly. amazingly, god created someone who is like me only of the opposite sex, put him on this earth 11 years and 2 days after i was born, and i found him. i've been told that i just exude happiness. i have a sparkle in my eye and a genuine smile again.
just like in the movies, life is full of a plethera of storylines; falling in and out of love; plot twists; good guys and bad, and supporting characters...and sometimes, when you least expect it, the start to what looks like could be a very happy ending.
