nose art

i've mentioned before that driving with my children can be a hectic and stressful event. but the most driving that i usually do is 30 minutes at a time, tops. 30 minutes isn't nearly enough time for my girls to prove just how over-the-edge they can drive me. this weekend, however, was my oldest sister's birthday, so my middle sis and i took a road trip to louisville for a "sister's weekend". and ella and madelyn went with us. it was during this excursion that my children reached their full annoying backseat passenger potential.


i knew that the drive wasn't going to be a pleasant one when madelyn's first reaction upon learning that she'd be visiting her cousin abigail for the weekend was, "but it takes soooo long to get there!" had abigail been coming to visit us, she would have been ecstatic. but there's something about riding for 2 1/2 hours in a car that drains the fun out of everything for a child. when she realized that she had left her nintendo ds at gran and papaw's house, it became all that much worse. i mean, she might have to read a book or color or something else old-fashioned and un-electronic. god forbid.


but madelyn isn't the one i was really worried about, it's ella. because she's younger, ella tends to be a little less tolerable in the car. or at mall. or walmart. i attribute much of this to her age. but honestly, lots of it has to do with her personality. not that she doesn't have an amazing one. in fact, she has tons of personality. she is smart and spunky, a little mischievous, a total ham, and absolutely hilarious. but she is also extremely short tempered.


madelyn's only real fault during the whole trip was her incessant talking and need to be entertained. she loves her aunt jen dearly, and insisted that the two either be playing hangman, or was constantly bugging her to play some sort of game on her iphone. then of course, there's the whole "i'm hungry" complaint, although both had eaten breakfast before we left the house. jennifer brought sausage balls, so i was set, but the girls complained that they didn't want sausage balls. so when we stopped in bowling green for gas, we also bought slim jims and mt. dew (at madelyn's request...what was i thinking? as if madelyn needs any more energy...). and jennifer and i, who had already sucked down one red bull a piece, also bought 2 cups of coffee.


ella first got mad when i attempted to listen to a song that she didn't want to listen to. she is currently into the pixies, red hot chili peppers, and eartha kitt's version of "santa baby." so a screaming fit ensued. she got mad when madelyn spoke, when it was too hot, when her coat bothered her, when her drink was empty, when the sun shone in her eyes, and when jennifer and i tried to carry on a conversation. no matter what happened, she was ill.

but the icing on the cake was when i glanced in the rearview and noticed that she was drawing on her window. she had been very good and quiet for some time, and jennifer and i had actually enjoyed getting the chance to talk and laugh with each other for the first time since we left olmstead. normally, i wouldn't have said anything, but the windows weren't fogged up, so i wasn't quite sure how she was drawing anything. curiosity got the best of me so i had to ask. "ella, what are you drawing on the window with?"

about that time i saw her reach her pointer and middle fingers up into each nostril and proceed to paint her masterpiece.

"oh my gosh, are you snot painting on my window!!!" i screamed.

wrong response.

for the remainder of our ride--30 minutes which seemed to last for an eternity--we got to hear the yelling and screaming and crying of an insulted, embarrassed, and ticked off 3 year old.

moral of the story: if your child is being good, don't bother them. no matter what they're doing or what they're smearing on your car window.