...and then there were three...

for the past few years that I've been writing, i've regaled anyone who cared to read them with stories of life as a married working mother of two feisty little girls. but three months ago, something changed; i was informed that i was going to be a single mother. my husband wanted a divorce.

these things happen every day. marriages fail, spouses bail. but of course, nobody ever counts on it happening to them. how? why? what went wrong? the list of questions and doubts and fears is endless. now, I've got a whole 3 months worth of sob stories to tell, but this isn't all about me. it isn't all about the sadness. it's about overcoming. and it's about them.

them. the girls. my babies. the greatest accomplishment that was created from mine and my soon-to-be ex husband's 9 year relationship. how would they react? would they understand? how would they feel to have 2 homes, be split between parents, not wake up every morning to both mommy and daddy living under the same roof? well, let me tell ya...kids are resilient. they're also very perceptive. and i've learned that they can be your rock when you need them to be...even if it's something as simple as curling up beside you in bed at night or telling you they love you.

so what's changed? the income, for starters. having to completely restructure your budget and spending habits to accommodate having one less salary in the household is a tough pill to swallow. marking 'divorced' on the girls' school forms and listing a separate address for their dad hit me pretty hard for some reason. and the fear of not being able to do it all alone is, well, frightening.

but as scary as all of this is, i've learned some valuable lessons. don't ever rely too heavily on anyone else for money or any other support, because they could walk out in the blink of an eye. know that you're not alone...there is always someone you work with or live beside or a friend-of-a-friend who has gone through the same thing and has a wealth of knowledge and advice to share. rely on friends and family; even if they can't offer first-hand wisdom on what you're going through, they can offer a shoulder to cry on or plan a "girls' night" to help you laugh and forget your troubles, if only for an evening. don't lose faith; god has brought you to this place in your life for a reason and he never makes mistakes. and above all, put those babies first. let them see that it's ok to be sad, but that in the end, you're going to be stronger because of the struggles, and so will they.