real life. no sugar added.

if i'd known then what i know now...

every little girl buys into the fairy tale. her prince charming is going to come riding in on a white horse to rescue her, put her up in a palace, and the two will live happily ever after.

i call bullshit.

cynical much? nah...just realistic.

i used to be THAT girl. i have a decent job. i work for the state.  i was fine with having retirement and a 401K. that's cool; i can work for twenty some odd years and then retire and do what i really want to do. i'm thinking i'll work in a coffee shop or a cool cafe. and my hubby would pay for the rest. yeah, that's my future.

but then he leaves you. "he", being the man who was supposed to supply the fairy tale that everyone buys into. the prince charming that was supposed to put you up in that palace.

yeah, exactly. your prince charming decides to leave you. someone younger, prettier. whatever.

there were several months in which i wallowed in self pity. how did this happen to me? why is god punishing me?

and then i realized that i wasn't being punished. i was being blessed.

until now, my blogs have been light and fluffy. humorous. but today, i'm feeling real. so here you go.

there's no way to glamorize single motherhood. well, unless you're a freaking kardashian or something. ooh, look at my perfect preggo belly and my nursery that louis vuitton himself designed. i mean, seriously...being a single mom is hard. but having no money makes it considerably harder.

i didn't marry for security. i married for love. but sometimes, it doesn't always work itself out as planned.  i do what i can. i make ends meet...barely. i work hard. and i get child support, which is more than a lot of women get.  i'm thankful.  but still..it's hard... and that's not the life i envisioned for myself...or my girls. i mean, who does? who wants to just get by?

i'm sorry...but think about it, ladies. what if you had to do it all yourself? no hubby to get the kids in the bath, no 2nd income, nobody helping with homework.

i always admired my single mommy friends, but i never appreciated them. really appreciated them.  dear god, i do now.

 you girls rock!

i wish i had it all together. i wish i could say that i can do it. but i can't. hell, i'm far from it. i do well to get us all dressed in the morning. but my kids are fed, they're dressed, and they're loved beyond belief. i'd say they're better off than most.