are we raising meaner kids?

in the infamous words of alice cooper..."schooooool's out for summer...." that much anticipated time has finally arrived when my soon-to-be 2nd grader gets to spend all day, 5 days a week, with her beloved gran. i don't think this time of year brings as much joy to gran, but that's neither here nor there.


what i remember from being a child and how i viewed my nannie is quite a bit different than how my girls view their gran. she was a 'grandmother' in every stereotyped sense of the word. she got her hair rolled once a week. she wore glasses. she baked cookies. she wore sas orthopedic shoes. i loved her dearly, but most importantly, i respected her. after all, how can you disrespect a little old lady?


i suppose this is why i find it very strange when my children "act up" when they visit gran and papaw. don't get me wrong, i participated in my share of mischief at nannie and papa's house as a child. i vaguely remember my cousin, kyle, and i getting in trouble for turning on the outside water spout when we were instructed not to (strangely enough, this is the same cousin with whom i got into trouble at his house for hosing down the inside walls of their garage...what was up with us causing chaos with water?) but aside from that, i don't recall ever doing anything that nannie told me not to do. my girls, on the other hand, have back-talked, thrown screaming fits, name-called, and deliberately disobeyed my parents. but what really put the icing on the cake is when, just last week, mom told me that ella had called her "stupid". really? are you kidding me? my 3 year old told her grandmother that she's stupid? i didn't raise her this way!

maybe this "freedom of speech" has come about because my girls are so comfortable with my parents. from the time madelyn was 2 years old, my mother was like a 2nd mother to her. she watched her from the time i started working full time in 2005, and when ella was born in 2007, she started watching her, too. or maybe it's because today's grandmothers don't seem so "grandmotherly". they aren't the white-haired little women that i traditionally think of when i think of a grandmother.

but could it be that we are raising disrespectful kids, even if unintentionally? i'd like to think that this isn't the case, but i can't help but think of how children acted 50 years ago. would opie ever have told aunt bea that she was stupid? i strongly doubt it. of course, aunt bea probably didn't even use the word "stupid", herself. i admit i've been guilty of using negative expressions ("this computer is getting on my nerves! this stupid internet is so slow!") and as a result, my children may think it's ok to say these things to, um, their grandmother. as a society, we seem to be straying away from the morals and values and manners that were instilled in our grandparents and our parents...and in us. i must say that i am always prompting a "thank you" out of my children by saying "what do you say?" when they are given a compliment or a gift. and i know that my mom has been working with them on their "ma'ams" and "sirs". so maybe it's not too late to raise well mannered, respectful children. hmm, ella just flung herself on the ground, screaming and writhing in anger over a weeble toy. ok, so maybe we still have a little work to do.