driving...with children

driving while talking on your cell phone can be dangerous. and there are laws against driving while texting. but driving with one hand while trying to restrain your 3 year old as she attempts to jump from a moving vehicle is just as risky, yet nobody really talks about it. that's why i'm here warn you that driving with children can be dangerous, and should be done at your own risk.

i've said it before: taking children shopping or out to eat is an adventure in itself. but getting there is half the battle. when kids are babies, you have to make sure you've packed enough diapers and formula to last until you get home, a change of clothes, bibs, bottles, pacifiers, toys, and the stroller. and while you're driving, you find yourself checking your rearview mirror, or reaching blindly into that impossible-to-see-from-the-driver's-seat rear facing carseat, feeling under your baby's nose to make sure he or she is still breathing.

those were the easy days. it was when ella graduated to the forward facing carseat that the real fun began. i'll never forget the first time she got out of her seat. i swear, it was an act that houdini himself couldn't have performed. we were leaving the house in a rush; i was going to work, and she was going to my parents'. ella used to have a habit of taking her diaper off in the middle of the night. it got to the point where i would dress her in the most impossible to remove clothing at night just so she wouldn't be able take her diaper off. one night, i honestly put her to bed in a one-piece bathing suit that had crisscross straps in the back.

but this particular morning, she was just wearing a gown. in my usual, frantic, early morning rush, i scooped her up and carried her out the car. it wasn't until i started buckling her in that i realized she wasn't wearing a diaper. and there was no time to go back in the house. "oh well...let's just pray she doesn't have to potty before we get to gran's house..."

she didn't, which was a blessing. what she did do was somehow unhook the straps of her carseat. here i am driving down ted crozier boulevard, when i happen to look in my rearview mirror and see a tiny naked butt facing me from the backseat. and there was ella standing in her carseat, looking out the back window.

that's not the only time it happened, although it was the only time it happened in the nude. one day she surprised me by peeking her head through the front seats when she was supposed to be securely fastened in the backseat. there's nothing like a 2 year old chirping "hi, mommy!" right beside your face while you're going 60 down the highway to cause a mild heart attack. there have been a few instances of her door flying open, sending me quickly pulling over to the shoulder of the road. i've been screamed at, hit in the head with paper airplanes, and slapped in the back with sticky-hand toys. i've yelled "don't make me pull over!", slammed on brakes when the backseat fighting wouldn't cease, and barely been able to see above the dashboard while reaching in the back floorboard to recover a dropped toy/shoe/crayon/stuffed animal.

so while i don't drink and drive, and i'm really trying to break myself from applying makeup in the rearview on my way to work, i do continue to engage in some of the riskiest of all driving behaviors--i get behind the wheel every day with 2 kids in the backseat. fellow drivers, beware.