boys are stupid.

boys are stupid. and yuck. and "eww". at least they were the last time i checked, which was last year in the 2nd grade. but apparently a lot can happen over the course of a summer. or maybe it was the switch from one town to another, one school to another. whatever the reason, it appears that my sweet madelyn has stopped hating boys. hmpf.


i remember when i used to despise boys. i mean, seriously, they frightened me. i think it had something to do with how shy i was, and still am. i remember a boy tried to kiss me on the cheek in kindergarten and i cried. bawled my eyes out. all of the classes had gone into one classroom to watch a movie, and we were all sitting there in little chairs watching the tv when he did it. it apparently scarred me for life since i wrote BAD across his picture in my yearbook that year.

and so it was with madelyn. last year, i accused her of having a "boyfriend" because the name of a boy in her class kept coming up. i finally teased, "oooh, do you like him??" which of course elicited the response, "eww, nooooo!!"

so imagine my surprise when i picked her up from school last week and she nonchalantly told me about the 3 boys who like her, and she wasn't disgusted by it at all.

"so then he was like, 'so-and-so likes you!' and i was like, 'really?' and then the other boy said, 'yeah, well so does he!' and he pointed to this other boy. but he was like 'no i don't!' and i'm like, 'um, ok, so do you or don't you?' but he used to date my friend, alex, and she said that he cheated on her and that's why they broke up..."

ok, hold up. he cheated on her? they dated? we're still in 3rd grade, right?

"what do you mean, 'he cheated on her'?" i asked.

"he was going with two other girls while he was dating her!"

"ok...so how did they date if neither of them have a car? did their parents drive them places?"

"no...."

"so what do you do when you 'go together'?"

"i...i don't know..."

"do you, like, hold hands and stuff?"

"uh...i don't know...i guess..."

"i see...ok, so this boy was holding hands with other girls while he was 'dating' your friend?"

madelyn giggled. "yeah...i guess..."

got it. ok...

by the time we got home, i had almost forgotten the ever-so-informative guide to 3rd grade dating of which madelyn had so graciously made me aware. then, as i was sorting through the school papers in her book bag, i found it: a big wad of love notes from her not-so-secret admirers.

"hey, mad...what are these?"

she smiled. "i told you they liked me!"

that night, after brian all but losing it over the thought of boys writing love notes to his baby, and after serious consideration of sending her to a private all girl school, i gave madelyn some words of advice.

"don't get too interested in boys right now, ok? you're gonna kill your daddy. i mean, it's perfectly fine to be friends with them. but holding hands and kissing is gross. so just don't do it. k?" so there ya go...kissing is gross. what can i say, i'm pretty blunt in my parenting style. remind me to tell you later about the discussion we had on babies, boobies and deodorant...

"ok."

i realize that this is just the beginning of a very long and bumpy journey to raising daughters. and that innocent love notes in the backpack are nothing compared to the text messages of the future (i mean, not that i'm going to sneak peeks at my children's cell phones...just sayin'...) i know that our brief, mother-daughter talk isn't going to keep my 8 year old away from boys until she's 18. but maybe it will buy me a little time until i come up with some more insightful advice than "kissing is gross". sigh....